Friends or Foe?

In CR we desire the VICTORY of God removing our defects of character. “Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind” (Romans 12: 2, GNB). We all have them; character defects. That’s not an excuse to let them run your life but more of an acknowledgment that you don’t have to do this alone.

When we ask God to help, all things are possible. Those shortcomings (anger, fear, resentment, impatience to name a few) that seem to rule your life- give them to God.

In CR, Scripture, the principles and the steps guide us and teach us to live as God intended us to do. They provide us hope and assurance that God is in control of our lives.

Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” (Matthew 5:6)

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Character defects are your feeble attempt at self reliance. They appear to be your friends but inevitably they become your enemy.

God is waiting to change your weaknesses into strengths. Ask Him to help you, to work through you and live through you. You will find freedom!

“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” (Matthew 5:6)

FREEDOM found in Forgiveness

Step 8, Step 9

“Happy are the merciful and the peacemakers” (Matthew 5: 6,9)

I forgive you

I forgive you

I think we all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it. Forgiveness is not a lot of things BUT it is the key to finding freedom from hurt, anger, fear, sadness and many more emotions.

Forgiveness can truly change your life and provide you with the abundance Jesus Christ promises you. Here are a couple definitions of forgiveness that may help you.

To forgive is to release someone from the obligation of who you want them to be and accept who they are.

Forgiveness is an announcement that says, “I choose to live with the consequences of what you did to me and how that has impacted me”.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you bring to mind people and situations where forgiveness is needed. Maybe there is situation that still feels a little “raw” or unfinished. Then ask yourself if you are ready to extend foregiveness as described in above definitions. If so, it’s a simple choice.

Forgiveness is something done between you and God. He is eager to help you! Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us that “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” Talk with God about the hurt, anger etc. as he understands and can help you let go. Give it to him and ask him to help you live out this forgiveness.

Enjoy your new-found freedom found in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is NOT

Step 8, Step 9

Many people have a hard time forgiving others because they think its something that it’s not. Forgiveness is not:

* Forgetting what happened

* Minimizing or denying what happened

* Saying you have to reconcile.

When you forgive you are actually validating the offense and saying you are ready to move on. But forgiving does not mean you have to reconcile or be in relationship with the offender. It MAY lead to reconciliation but it doesn’t have to.

Forgiveness is the first step to repairing damaged relationships. Sometimes it’s as simple as acknowledging the offense, the “sting” or impact of the offense along with a sincere admition of guilt that leads to a new level of relationship.

Here is a simple “formula” that will help you make an amend that could restore a relationship.

Step 1. State your intent: Let your friend/family member etc. know that you would like some time to make an amend. Example: I would like some time to share with you my amends for_______ so that we can be closer/remove this obstacle, etc.”

Step 2. Specific ways your actions/words caused damage. It’s important to understand how your words/acts have hurt your friend/family member and that you communicate that to them. “When I ______ I know that I hurt you, embarrassed you, caused you to feel angry, etc”.

Step 3. Responsibility statement. Take full responsibility for you actions. Example: “I take 100% responsibility for my actions and the _____ that this has caused you”.

Step 4. Intent to change. A simple statement that indicates your intent to change and to not repeat these acts/words again. Example: It is my intention to not repeat this action again and to not cause you____”.

Step 5. Accountability. Possibly the most important statement in this process. Ask your friend/family member to help you with accountability by asking them to address you specifically if the acts’ words happen again. Example: I am asking that you help me to be ccountable to my commitment by confronting me, setting boundarieds, etc. if I should repeat this behavior again.”

If you take these 5 steps (not necessarily easy) your relationships will move to a deeper more meaningful one. This also allows you to have a more open and fulfilling relationship with Christ; which leads to his Holy Spirit flowing freely through you. May you be blessed!

Easter Service and Lord's Supper at CR - April 4th @ 5:30